Goodbye
by tensionandthrill
Summary: Sam says goodbye. Sam's heart says different.


**A/N: msgonzo10 very nicely (like, ****_very_**** nicely) requested that I repost this here. Thanks for the kind words, bb. You made my day, so, here you go. I hope others enjoy it as well.**

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Sometimes goodbye was serious—a final farewell to what had been, and that had certainly been the intention when he'd said it that August day. They were headed down two different paths, and though the thought of not being together—of calling it quits again when they'd finally just figured it out—broke their hearts, it seemed tough but survivable in the face of another forced separation.

It was supposed to set them free and he tried. He really did. He went full speed ahead, living out his last days as a senior, holding on to sixteen as long as he could. He had the status and the girls—it should have been everything. He tried to make it everything. Still, he found himself constantly battling that feeling that something was missing.

He'd do particularly well at a football game, and the first person he thought to tell was her. He'd go on dates with girls who seemed very nice, but they'd never be right for him. They were too tall, too thin, too not-her.

He'd tried to go on, reasoning away that dull ache in his heart. _It's just residual. It'll go away. This won't last forever._

But it's a month later and he still smiles sadly as he looks around the glee club practice room, missing her smiling face in the crowd as he performs.

It's two months later and he's still calling her every night, just so her voice is the last thing he hears before he slips into his dreams.

It's three months later and he's heartbroken at having to be in Kentucky when she does finally get back to Lima for Thanksgiving. He ignores his family's knowing looks as he mopes around the house.

It's four months later and he's surprised by how overwhelmingly bummed he is that she cancels her Christmas visit. He pretends not to see the concerned looks Carol throws his way. Tina and Blaine appoint themselves his broken heart buddies. At least he had company in his misery—and it keeps Carol at bay.

It's five months later and he's ending a spectacularly failed two-week long relationship. Artie had only been trying to help and the girl _was_ very nice, but she would never hold his heart. He didn't want her to.

It's six months later and he'd rather sit around his room waiting until she gets home from class so they can Skype than go to another tired party. It may not have been in person, but he'd take her smiling face and her time in any way he could get it. He wasn't exactly twisting her arm, either.

It's seven months later and he finds himself recording yet another love song that'll make its way to her inbox somehow despite her protests that they both know she doesn't really mean.

It's eight months later and he's losing his mind that Nationals is in San Diego this year—and none of his friends are lost on the reason why.

It's nine months later and he happily spends a good chunk of his birthday money on a Greyhound ticket to Los Angeles.

It's ten months later, and he finds himself on a rickety bus, traveling through the night. He's dead tired, but he doesn't get a wink of sleep as he watches the white lines disappear and bring him closer and closer to where his heart's already been hanging for nearly the entire year.

He knows Mr. Schue will kill him when he notices, but they'd already won that second trophy. How mad could he really be? And this was a date with destiny. He could really care less about anything else at this point.

He takes a cab when they finally pull in to the terminal. It's about five in the morning by now. He's exhausted and he knows she's probably asleep, but he just can't wait any longer. He's running on pure adrenaline as he bounds up the stairs to her apartment, wondering what this moment will be.

He knocks on the door, not really knowing what he's expecting. His breaths come in short bursts that he blames on the short sprint up the stairs and not the somersaults his heart is currently engaged in. It takes a while before he hears the soft padding of her feet coming to the door, and his heart threatens to thud right out of his chest with every moment that he waits.

It seems like an eternity before it opens, but then, finally she's there and he knows how creepy he looks, just drinking her in, looking upon her face like he's wanted to all these months. He looks into her eyes, looking for a reaction, _something_ to confirm it hasn't been just him all this time, unable to let go. He finds it in the matching expression on her face. It breaks out into a soft smile.

She only steps back, making room for him to come in, kind of like she's been expecting him all along. It takes about ten seconds after that before they're back in each other's arms. He lets her kisses and her familiar hold reel him in, soothing him. He feels the most settled he has in months with her pressed against his body, returning his frantic caresses, her lips and hands just as insistent as his.

She stares at him oddly a bit later as he laughs into her neck. She pulls back to look at him, placing her hands on his chest as her bare thigh grazes his hip. He silences the impending question with a kiss, running his hand along her thigh.

Goodbye had been the biggest joke and he'd never be clear on why he'd ever thought it'd be possible.


End file.
